A "Thinking of You" card is always appropriate for a hospice patient.
Once a patient reaches the stage of her illness and becomes a candidate for hospice care, it's obvious not only to their medical care providers, but to family members and friends as well that the end is likely close at hand. Calls and cards are still appropriate means of expressing your concerns. Visits should be cleared with hospice care or family members. When sending cards, however, it's important to choose your words carefully. In situations such as these, a get well card is definitely not an option.
Don't Ignore Death
Hospice patients are well aware of the fact that they are dying, so don't beat around the bush or evade the issue. It's okay to ask them if they're scared and to admit that you're scared at the prospect of losing them.
If you know that the patient shares or is open to your religious beliefs, feel free to send words about faith and prayers in an attempt to provide some comfort. Mention the afterlife as your religion sees it, and your belief that he will be free of pain and illness at that time.
Ask if there are any prayer requests he would like to make, and promise to fulfill them.
Be Tactful with Cards
Get Well or Feel Better Soon cards are inappropriate for patients in hospice care. They likely aren't going to get well, and even if they experience a slight improvement in their condition it is usually only temporary.
If you choose to send a card, stick to one that says "Thinking of You" or one that states warm thoughts and feelings without directly using words like "healing" or "recovery."
Express Your Feelings
Ask if there is anything you can do for the person. While you certainly can't make her well, you may be able to instill peace of mind by performing tasks she is too ill to do herself. She may have some unfinished business in some area of her life that you could take care of for her. You'll never know if you don't ask. A nurse or nearby family member can contact you with details.
Tell the person how much she means to you and write about past experiences that resulted in cherished memories. Share humorous accounts of times you've shared. Promise to always keep such memories alive in your heart. People in hospice care are often comforted by the thought that they won't be forgotten.
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