Overcome Nervousness
When you are feeling nervous it might be impossible to be at your best. Often, feelings of social anxiety, fear of public speaking or shyness may contribute to nervous feelings. It is possible to overcome nervousness to some degree so that you might look and feel more confident in any situation. Here are some tips.
Instructions
1. Practice in the mirror. If you have to give a speech, go on a date or attend a party, practice scenarios in the mirror. Make up imaginary scripts and situations and actually perform them. You might even audiotape or videotape yourself to better visualize yourself performing well in a public setting.
2. Practice what you are going to say and become knowledgeable about subjects that might arise in social situations. If you are going to a party for instance, try to know what is happening in the news, entertainment or new technological advances in order to be able to have a successful conversation. Even knowing a little about these subjects will help you to appear somewhat knowledgeable. If you are giving a speech, be sure to know your topic well. If you get forget what you had planned, you can always speak from what you know to fill in the gaps.
3. Learn deep breathing relaxation techniques, yoga and meditation. All of these activities will help you deal with feelings of nervousness by helping you to psychologically and physiologically calm the body when you experience feelings of nervousness or anxiety. Take three or four deep breaths when you are in a situation where you feel nervous to calm the body and provide oxygen to the brain. This will help you to think more clearly and slow your heartbeat to a more normal level.
4. Use visualization. Whether you are meditating or just closing your eyes for a few minutes, visualize the situation in which you become nervous and see yourself as successfully navigating that situation. For instance if you become shy in social situations, see yourself as being outgoing and talkative. This enables you to better cope in real life.
5. Force yourself to do the things that make you nervous. If you become anxious when you go out, try to socialize more often. If public speaking is a trigger for your anxiety, get up and speak in public. The more accustomed you become to situations that cause you fear, the more easy they will become. Be sure to practice the situations using the above techniques before actually performing the activities to encourage positive experiences.
6. Put things in perspective. Understand that whatever the situation is that is making you nervous is likely not going to alter your life in any real way if you are not successful. For instance, if you fear getting up in front of people and making a speech, and you slip up and forget the words, it is not the end of the world. It will likely be embarrassing, but can also be a learning experience. Imagine the worst case scenario. Plan for what you will do if things do not go as planned. Come up with some jokes and see yourself having to improvise in a situation.
7. Become an actor. Sometimes acting as if you are confident is helpful. If you act like you are not shy it will help you to become less inhibited. Try to imitate someone that you feel is confident and attempt to take on that individuals characteristics. Sometimes being shy is the fear of not being accepted for who you are. If you can act as someone else, that fear may dissipate to some degree.
8. Smile and ask questions when you feel you cannot come up with any conversation. People love to talk about themselves. Know basic questions that will break the ice such as "what kind of work do you do," "do you have any children," "where are you from," "what school do/did you attend," "have you seen any good movies lately," "what sort of music do you like," etc. Plan these questions ahead of time so you do not get stuck in conversation.
9. Try Kava Kava, valerian root and chamomile tea to calm your nerves. These herbs have a physiologically calming effect. Lemon balm can also be used in a tea form to calm the nerves. Try wearing a lavender scent to calm your nerves.
10. Appear confident and never let people know you are nervous. This will make you feel more confident as well. Remember, most people suffer from nervousness in unknown situations. The key is to appear as if you are comfortable. This makes everyone around you feel less anxious as well and will lighten most situations.
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