Do not let jealousy put a wedge in your relationship.
Jealousy can rear its head in many ways, such as being jealous of a co-worker's promotion or a husband speaking to another woman. "Psychology Today" summed up jealousy quite well in describing it as a "reaction to a perceived threat." Whether the threat is real or not does not matter. The jealousy can cause you emotional pain and suffering and ruin personal relationships. The good news is that jealousy can be controlled, but the bad news is it may take a while --- with several setbacks along the way --- before you finally overcome it.
Instructions
1. Find the root of your jealousy. You need to spend some time alone and think about what is causing your jealous feelings. After all, you cannot fix something if you do not know the cause. Perhaps you were cheated on in the past, or your father cheated on your mother. Write down the things that come to mind. Now, you need to let these things go. Tell yourself these things happened in the past and look toward the future. Keep reminding yourself that these things are in the past.
2. Learn to love yourself. This is an ongoing process and will not happen overnight. Yet, you cannot overcome jealousy if you do not really believe in yourself and suffer low self-esteem. Remind yourself every day that you are a good person who deserves to be loved. Give yourself a positive pep talk when you are feeling down.
3. Use visualization to control jealousy. Picture yourself in your favorite place. Think about a painful moment that caused deep jealousy. Allow yourself to feel the pain for at least a minute. Stop the exercise and make note of your feelings. Try the exercise another day and visualize your favorite place. This time, feel the sun in your favorite place giving you the energy to overcome any jealous and hurtful feelings. Feel the new control you have acquired. Imagine you get to relive the jealous moment any way you want. Remember you have control and wisdom now. This exercise teaches you that you can control your emotions and manage your jealous feelings.
4. Speak to the person who invokes jealousy in you. Explain that you need his assistance to overcome your jealous feelings. Perhaps you need him to call you when he is working late, for instance. Let him know in a calm manner that you are trying to control and overcome your jealousy. You will become more secure in your relationship and hopefully less jealous as you see he is willing to make the effort.
5. Manage your anxiety. Anxious feelings can contribute to jealousy. Practice yoga, which is helpful and calming. Try to get enough sleep and eat right. Go for walks. Whatever you do, remember to take care of yourself, so that you relax and deal with your anxiety and jealousy.
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